ok, lovers. here is the scoop. here are multiple scoops:

Hedwig, of the angry inch fame, is officially the first transvestite/transgender personality to make the cut onto johny cassettes' top five list of girls he'd french kiss if he wasn't already in a serious committed relationship with the best girl ever. the list continues, in random order:

*cate blanchett
*lauren ambrose
*ingrid bergman (+time machine)
*daljit dhaliwal

worked this all out last night before seeing Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back with Daví and Sonya. verdict: to spare the emotions of the many people to whom I've talked who loved the movie, I'll try not to say that it was awful. But, briefly, not my proverbial cup.

the great american novel (the one about Mr. H, fista) is experiencing an identity crisis lately, as it is under the impression that it might be a screenplay. says it was born that way.

with a net loss of 25 dollars, I am now enjoying the company of my guitar again. little fanfare, to tell the truth. thursday afternoon, hungry for chinese food, I withdrew ten dollars from my account, leaving me with a balance of $140 or so. at the moment, as I was buying the lo mein and tofu, I was under the mistaken impression that the redeeming value of my guitar was $150, and briefly, I didn't care that I was squandering it on Mr. Wang's Chinese Deli. and that was the day the music died. I was wrong. it cost $125. and I retrieved it yesterday. stumbled through a couple of chord progressions. no magic. I felt something was missing. not that I'd sold my soul, but that I'd pawned it, and briefly denied redemption. I feel like judas. my silver pieces were cubes of spicy tofu. it doesn't matter that I changed my mind. the damage is done. something something something.

listen: I can't help it- Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back was terrible. I tried not to say it, but dammit I can't help it. Apologies all around.